When Worship Becomes a Question

 What is the true essence of worship?

This question doesn’t arise from defiance, but from a longing to understand. Sometimes, when I pray, my lips move to recite the verses, but my thoughts wander elsewhere. I know that prayer is an obligation, yet at times it feels like a formality — “at least I’ve prayed.” Is that okay?

There were moments when I deeply longed to be closer to God. During those times, I felt every verse of the prayer resonate within me, even though I didn’t understand each word’s meaning, as the prayer is in Arabic. Somehow, I felt calm. A quiet peace settled in, during and after the prayer.

But that feeling didn’t last.

The chain broke when I entered a period of rest from worship — a time when my body wasn’t permitted to pray. After that, I wanted so much to return to that sense of closeness. But it kept slipping away, distracted by everything else happening around me. It felt like a distance I couldn’t quite reach again.

After prayer, I often feel empty. As if I’m just performing the motions, without any real communication with God.

Is this what it feels like when faith dims?

Can worship still hold meaning even when the heart isn’t fully present?

Will that longing return, or does it only visit now and then?

I don’t know the answers yet.

But I still want to keep searching